Blurred Lines and Fractured Thoughts

ADHD and the Myth of Just “Trying Harder” to Focus

Some days, I can sit down and write an entire blog post in one chaotic-but-beautiful burst of energy.

Other days, I’ll read the same sentence fifteen times and still not know what it says. I’ll start writing an email, open a tab to check something, get distracted by a headline, forget why I opened the browser, get a notification, reply to it, close the tab, stare at my screen, and... the email is still blank.

Focus isn’t just hard. It’s slippery.

It’s not a matter of laziness. Or willpower. Or just “trying harder.”
It’s a tug-of-war inside my own brain — between what I need to do, what I want to do, and what my brain decides is important in the moment (spoiler: it’s usually none of the above).

Lost in (Tube) Thought

Sometimes it starts with something simple — like a journey across London.

I’ll be sat on the Underground, headphones in, fully aware I need to change lines in four stops. Easy, right?

Except my brain decides that’s the perfect moment to run a full mental simulation of all the other possible routes I could’ve taken.

What if I’d gone via Bakerloo instead of Victoria?
Would it have been faster to cut through Oxford Circus?
What’s the quickest way to avoid the extremely long walk between lines at Green Park?
Why is the walk between lines at Green Park so long?
Was it designed by a sadist with a tape measure and a grudge?

And just like that, I’ve missed my stop.

I wasn’t staring blankly into space. I wasn’t scrolling TikTok. I was hyperfocused — just on the wrong thing.

From Inspired to… Where Did My Brain Go?

There are weeks where my brain is on fire — creatively, I mean.
I’ve got ideas for blog posts pouring out of me, notes scribbled on my phone, voice memos, half-written drafts, passionate rants I can't wait to shape into something coherent.

And then there are the other weeks.
The ones where I open my laptop, stare at the blinking cursor… and nothing comes.

Not a word.
Not a spark.
Not even a decent distraction.

Except, somehow, two hours later I find myself knee-deep in a Wikipedia rabbit hole about the evolution of F1 safety measures — from leather helmets to the Halo.
And yes, I do watch F1.
But this wasn’t research.
This was a spontaneous academic deep-dive for no reason other than: dopamine.

I’m not writing.
I’m not researching.
I’m not even sure what I originally sat down to do.

This is ADHD. It's not about laziness or distraction — it's about energy going in completely unintended directions.
You don’t lose focus.
It just reroutes like a sat nav in meltdown.

Focus Fatigue — the Invisible Exhaustion

No one talks enough about how exhausting focus can be.

Trying to stay on task feels like balancing on a tightrope over lava — while juggling flaming swords — with a live audience judging your every wobble.

Even the smallest task can feel impossible.
Filling out a form. Making a phone call. Sending one email.
Not because it’s hard, but because forcing focus feels like trying to hold your breath for five hours.

And by the end of it? I’m done. Mentally wiped.
I’ve used all my brainpower to complete something that took someone else 10 minutes.
And now I have to recover from focusing.

Hyperfocus: Great Timing? Never Heard of It.

The irony? Sometimes I can focus.
But it’s never when I want to.

Like at 11:48 p.m. when I suddenly must reorganise my books by colour. Or start cleaning the kitchen like I’m auditioning for a cleaning show.
Or dive into a hyper-specific project that could have waited, but now? It’s life or death.

Meanwhile, my actual deadlines?
Forgotten. Ignored. Pushed to the bottom of the “do it later” pile that’s slowly becoming an actual tower.

ADHD is like having a superpower with terrible timing.
It’s not that I don’t have the focus — it’s that it shows up unannounced, at 2 a.m., wearing a cape, asking, “Is this a good time?”

No. It’s not. But sure. Let’s reorganise the spice rack.

Let’s Talk

Do you ever find yourself hyper-focused on the wrong thing?
Do you go to bed thinking, “I’ll focus tomorrow” — only to end up deep in a rabbit hole about medieval siege weapons or reorganising your apps?

Drop your most chaotic focus detours below. Let’s make this a safe space for the misdirected, the distracted, and the secretly brilliant.

Because maybe you didn’t finish that one task today — but hey, now you know everything about how the Halo works in F1. That counts for something.